Cooking with Astrid and Hiccup season 4
by vala411
Summary: The last season of Astrid and Hiccup's cooking show.
1. Episode 1

**Episode 1: Chocolate cupcakes and peanut butter icing**

"Hello everybody and welcome back to a new episode of our show cooking with Astrid and Hiccup. I'm Hiccup and this is my lovely co-host and girlfriend Astrid." Hiccup introduces as he and Astrid take the stage.

"Cuz… why are you sunburned?!" Snotlout shouted from behind the camera.

"I…I'm not sunburned!" Hiccup defended which caused Astrid to giggle.

"Yes you are!" Astrid stated.

"Am not!" Hiccup countered.

"Are too."

"Am not"

"As much as we would love to see you two lovebirds debate whether or not Hiccup is crispy, we do have a show to start." Tuffnut commented from upon his director's chair.

Both Hiccup and Astrid's heads shot towards Tuffnut. "We're not lovebirds!"

"Of course you're not." Ruffnut says with all seriousness. "You just date each other, kiss each other, and live together."

"L..Let's just do the recipe!" Hiccup sputtered as he and Astrid hurried behind the counter. Hiccup faced the audience and said "Today we'll be making Chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter icing."

"Peanut butter icing Hiccup?" Astrid asked looking skeptical. "I think that the sun might have fried your brain while we were on vacation."

"I knew it! I knew it!" Snotlout suddenly shouted. "That's where both of you were for a month!"

Hiccup ignored Snotlout who yelled "Pay up" to Fishlegs.

"I learned this recipe from Gobber" Hiccup said. "Granted he used mead icing, but it still tasted great."

"The ingredients for the cupcakes themselves are 12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, 2/3 cup granulated sugar, 2/3 cup light brown sugar, packed, 2 extra-large eggs, at room temperature, 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract, 1 cup buttermilk, shaken, at room temperature, 1/2 cup sour cream, at room temperature, 2 tablespoons brewed coffee, 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, 1 cup good cocoa powder, 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt" Hiccup explained as Astrid put the ingredients on the counter. She decided to have some fun and poked Hiccup in the arm.

"YEOCH!" Hiccup shouted while Astrid muttered "definitely sunburned"

"The ingredients for the Peanut Butter Icing are as followed, Chopped salted peanuts, to decorate, they are optional, 1 cup confectioners' sugar, 1 cup creamy peanut butter, 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature, 3/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract, 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt, 1/3 cup heavy cream"

"Now we preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line cupcake pans with paper liners. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream the butter and 2 sugars on high speed until light and fluffy, approximately 5 minutes. Lower the speed to medium, add the eggs 1 at a time, then add the vanilla and mix well. In a separate bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, sour cream, and coffee. In another bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt. On low speed, add the buttermilk mixture and the flour mixture alternately in thirds to the mixer bowl, beginning with the buttermilk mixture and ending with the flour mixture. Mix only until blended. Fold the batter with a rubber spatula to be sure it's completely blended." Hiccup explained as Astrid set to work.

"Now divide the batter among the cupcake pans. 1 rounded standard ice cream scoop per cup is the right amount. Bake in the middle of the oven for 20 to 25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes, remove from the pans, and allow to cool completely before frosting."

"It's a wonder that nothing out of the ordinary has happened yet." Fishlegs whispered to Snotlout and Tuffnut. "It almost seems like a normal cooking show."

No sooner had Fishlegs said that when the studio doors bursted open.

"You just had to jinx it." Snotlout muttered to Fishlegs while Tuffnut told Snotlout to keep filming.

The audience and all the crew turned to the figures which strolled in like they owned the place. A big burly man with dreadlocks was walking in front.

"Can we help you?" Hiccup asked confused as he noticed the dragon part of the audience start to growl at the newcomers.

"Yes you can" The man said. "I'm Drago Bludfist and from now on this studio lot will be under my supervision."

"…Okay…" Hiccup said uncertainly not knowing what the man wanted.

"You and your show will stop filming and clear out." Drago stated which caused a commotion in the audience.

"Excuse me!" Astrid screeched as she grabbed her axe which she kept under the counter during the shows.

"Better programming will take the slot of your show." Drago continued on not even looking intimidated by the sharp axe.

"Now I'm sure we can talk about this." Hiccup tried to reason. "Why don't we talk this out over a drink." Just as he said this he saw Ruffnut coming out from backstage with several mugs. She handed them to Drago and his entourage before handing one to Hiccup.

"You think a drink is going to change my mind?" Drago huffed. Hiccup looked to the side where he saw Ruffnut discretely motion him not to drink the liquid. He turned back to Drago and said "What could it hurt?"

Drago let out a snort but downed the drink anyways. His entourage followed his lead and while Hiccup pretended to drink. Soon Drago and his men were clutching their stomachs and were rushing out of the studio like they had been set on fire. Hiccup looked to Ruffnut who was sporting a smirk and was high-fiving her brother.

"What was that stuff Ruff?" Hiccup questioned.

"Oh, just some leftover yaknog our producer gave me last week. She said to use it wisely." Ruffnut explained before skipping towards her station.

"That yaknog was 3 months old!" Hiccup gagged as he threw away the contents of the mug down the drain.

"Let's just continue" Snotlout commented as he was turning green just from the mere thought of it.

Hiccup returned to the counter and said "Place the confectioners' sugar, peanut butter, butter, vanilla, and salt in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on medium-low speed until creamy, scraping down the bowl with a rubber spatula as you work. Add the cream and beat on high speed until the mixture is light and smooth. Frost each cupcake with Peanut Butter Icing and sprinkle with chopped peanuts, if desired."

Astrid demonstrated how to frost the cupcakes after Hiccup had made the frosting and then she took out a premade batch.

"That's all for today" Hiccup said as he rolled his eyes when he noticed Astrid swiping a couple of cupcakes after she had tasted one. "We hope to see you next episode!"

 **Producer's note:**

 **(On the phone)… "I see, so the new supervisor as well as several of his staff have quit due to severe stomach problems… No, I have no idea what caused it (sounding innocent)… Yes, we'll be fine without supervision (mentally praying).**

 **(Turns around to face the desk)… "Chicken drop my donut or so help me you will be the next dish!"**


	2. Episode 2

**Episode 2:** **Senegalese Chicken Yassa**

"Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of our show cooking with Astrid and Hiccup. I'm Hiccup and this is my lovely co-host and girlfriend Astrid." Hiccup introduces as he and Astrid walked onto the stage from different sides.

Astrid's eyes widened upon seeing Hiccup. "Hiccup why are you dressed as a Snorlax?" She asked.

"Eh…. I lost a bet with Ruffnut." Hiccup said sheepishly as he waddled behind the counter.

"What did you even bet on?"

"Whether or not Ruff could get Snotlout to go on a date." Hiccup responded.

"What tha hell cuz. You bet against me!" Snotlout shouted and then dramatically said, while placing a hand on his forehead. "Oh woe is me. My own cousin bet against me."

"Don't be such a drama queen!" Was shouted by Ruffnut from backstage.

"I'm not a drama queen!" Snotlout shouted back.

"Oh yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yesssss!"

"As much as I don't want to intrude on my sister's love life." Tuffnut interjected as the audience laughed at the shouting match. "Oh who am I kidding. Of course I do, but cooking show people!"

"Right… eh" Snotlout said looking a little flustered as he went back to operating the camera.

Astrid walked towards Hiccup and poked his costume. "Are you even avle to cook like that?" She asked.

"Probably not." Hiccup muttered. "Help me out of it?"

"Sure" Astrid said as she turned Hiccup around trying to find the zipper. "Ah here we go" Astrid said as she opened up the costume to yank out a sheepish Hiccup. "Next time don't bet against Ruff."

"So for today we are making Senegalese Chicken Yassa." Hiccup said as he handed the Snorlax outfit to a stage hand. "For the ingredients we'll need 1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice, 4 large onions, thinly sliced. Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste, 1/8 teaspoon minced fresh habanero chile, or to taste, 5 tablespoons peanut oil, 1 frying chicken (2 1/2 to 3 1/2 pounds), cut into serving pieces, 1 habanero chile, pricked with a fork, 1/2 cup pimento-stuffed olives, 4 carrots, scraped and thinly sliced, 1 tablespoon Dijon-style mustard, 1/2 cup water, and Plain White Rice." Hiccup explained as Astrid laid all the ingredients on the counter.

"And for the Plain White Rice we'll need 3 1/2 cups water, 1 1/2 cups uncooked rice, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 tablespoon butter." Astrid said as she frowned when she couldn't find a place on the counter to put the last ingredients.

"Ruffnut!" She then yelled shocking Hiccup who was standing next to her.

"What?!" Ruffnut shouted from the backstage.

"You got an extra counter?" Astrid asked and the crew and the audience could hear some rustling backstage followed by 'Eureka!'

Two stagehands then came onto the stage carrying a small table which looked exactly like part of the counter Astrid and Hiccup were using. They placed it against the counter, before adding a small vase of flowers to brighten it up, and walked away.

"What the hell does Ruffnut have in her prop department?" Fishlegs asked skeptically.

"Oh just the usual." Tuffnut commented. "Pots, pans, boilers, Godzilla, a Blissey."

"I should never have asked should I?" Fishlegs now questioned as he scratched the side of his head. The audience was very helpful and yelled "NOOO"

Astrid rolled her eyes. Hiccup let out a sigh before saying "Let's continue. In a large non-reactive bowl, we prepare marinade by mixing the lemon juice, onions, salt, pepper, minced chile, and 4 tablespoons of the peanut oil. Place the chicken pieces in the marinade, making sure that they are all well covered." Astrid happily started mixing.

"Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and allow the chicken to marinate for at least 3 hours in the refrigerator." Hiccup explained as he demonstrated. He walked to the fridge and pulled out a pre-prepared container.

"Now preheat the broiler. Remove the chicken pieces, reserving the marinade and onions, and place the chicken in a shallow pan. Broil the chicken until it is lightly browned on both sides. Remove the onions from the marinade. Heat the remaining tablespoon of oil in a flameproof 5-quart casserole or Dutch oven and cook the onions slowly until tender and translucent." Astrid was doing this and Hiccup quirked an eyebrow as she whipped out a magnifying glass.

"Astrid what are you doing?" Hiccup now asked.

"How else will I see if the minced onions become translucent?" Astrid quipped. "They are tiny. I'm not going to squint to see if each one is done. I'll need glasses next thing you know."

Hiccup facepalmed but said nothing. Astrid was very close to the knife block and everyone in the studio knew what that meant.

"Now that the onions have being taken care of." Hiccup mumbled "We'll continue. Add the reserved marinade. When the liquid is thoroughly heated, add the chicken pieces, pricked chile, olives, carrots, mustard, and water. When the dish has reached the desired degree of hotness, remove the chile and reserve, it can also be served separately to the chile heads. Stir to mix well, then bring the yassa slowly to a boil. Lower the heat and simmer, covered, for about 30 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Serve over Plain White Rice."

"The plain white rice is easy." Astrid said. "I can do that."

"Okay" Hiccup commented and gave Astrid a saucepan.

"Bring the water to a boil in medium saucepan. Stir in the remaining ingredients, cover, and simmer over low heat for 20 minutes. Remove the rice from the heat and allow it to stand for 5 minutes, or until all the water has been absorbed." Astrid explained as she demonstrated. "Now Fluff with a fork and serve hot."

"A…Astrid…" Hiccup mumbled as he watched Astrid weirdly fluff the rice with two forks like you would a pillow. "What are you doing?"

"I like my rice extra fluffy." Astrid only said as she and stopped when she was satisfied with it."

"Well that's all for today" Hiccup said as he and Astrid waved at the audience. "We hope to see you all next episode!"

 **Producer's note:**

 **(Munching on roasted chicken)**

 **Tuffnut enters the office. "Have you seen chicken?"**

 **(Looks sheepishly at the dish) "…. Eh…. probably"**

 **Tuffnut: "You… FIEND!" (points accusing finger at me before rushing out of the office)**

 **(Ruffnut walks by and rolls her eyes) "… Such a crybaby…."**


	3. Episode 3

**Episode 3:** **Chicken Enchiladas**

"Hello everybody and welcome back to a new episode of our show cooking with Astrid and Hiccup. I'm Hiccup and this is my lovely co-host and girlfriend Astrid." Hiccup introduces as he and Astrid take the stage arm in arm.

"Hello everybody!" Astrid chirped. "Today we are making chi-OUCH" She said as an overhead microphone bobbed against her head. "Fishlegs, what in Thor?"

"Sorry" Fishlegs said. "I'm just a little distracted today."

"Oh and what has gotten you all worked up?" Snotlout asked while wiggling his eyebrows. "Is it a girl?"

"In fact it is Snot." Fishlegs grinned.

"Wait what?!" Snotlout now exclaimed. "Dude, when were you going to tell us?"

"Well nothing is certain yet. "I'm meeting Heather for our first date tonight." Fishlegs mumbled as his cheeks started to get rosy.

"So Heather is her name." Tuffnut now interjected. "So how did you meet? Spill!"

"Oh my Thor not you too!" Fishlegs exclaimed as the audience leaned forward and nodded.

"Oh come on Fish. You know how much we like to gossip." Snotlout simply said to Fishlegs who let out a groan.

"And this is why I'm not saying anything yet." Fishlegs muttered.

"PSsst, Astrid." Hiccup whispered. "Ten bucks that they follow Fishlegs on his date tonight."

"Twenty if they choose some cheesy disguise." Astrid whispered back.

"C…Can we just continue?" Fishlegs asked as Tuffnut and Snotlout gave him knowing looks.

"Okay, today we'll be making chicken enchiladas." Hiccup said as Snotlout got some close up shots while still snickering. "For the ingredients we'll need 3 tablespoons vegetable oil, 1 1/2 pounds skinless boneless chicken breast, Salt and pepper, 2 teaspoons cumin powder, 2 teaspoons garlic powder, 1 teaspoon Mexican Spice Blend, 1 red onion, chopped, 2 cloves garlic, minced, 1 cup frozen corn, thawed, 5 canned whole green chiles, seeded and coarsely chopped, 4 canned chipotle chiles, seeded and minced, 1 (28-ounce) can stewed tomatoes, 1/2 teaspoon all-purpose flour, 16 corn tortillas, 1 1/2 cups enchilada sauce, canned, 1 cup shredded Cheddar and Jack cheeses, and for the garnish, chopped cilantro leaves, chopped scallions, sour cream, chopped tomatoes."

"Coat large saute pan with oil." Hiccup explained as Astrid hummed while demonstrating. "Season the chicken with salt and pepper. Brown chicken over medium heat, allow 7 minutes each side or until no longer pink. Sprinkle chicken with cumin, garlic powder and Mexican spices before turning." Hiccup now showed as Snotlout moved in for another close up. "Remove chicken to a platter, and allow to cool."

There was suddenly a loud crash from backstage. Both Astrid and Hiccup looked towards the noise when Ruffnut shouted "DON'T WORRY EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT!"

"Excuse me for a moment." Tuffnut quickly said before he darted offstage. There was some shouting before another loud crash followed and then total silence.

Hiccup looked at Astrid. "Nope, no naha." Astrid stated holding out her hands. "I don't want to know."

Hiccup pouted but let it drop. If it was anything twin related they would know soon enough. Hiccup returned his attention back to the saucepan he had in his hand. "Okay next we sauté onion and garlic in chicken drippings until tender. Add corn and chiles. Stir well to combine. Add canned tomatoes, ad sauté for 1 minute."

"Pull chicken breasts apart by hand into shredded strips." Hiccup explained and Astrid said cheerfully "I've been waiting for this, bore tearing into the chicken."

"At least Tuffnut isn't here to see this." Snotlout whispered to Fishlegs who nodded.

"I wonder if Tuffnut's Chicken did anything to annoy Astrid again?" Fishlegs asked.

Hiccup who this time did not comment on the savage tearing of the chicken then said "Add shredded chicken to saute pan, combine with vegetables. Dust the mixture with flour to help set."

"Now we microwave tortillas on high for 30 seconds. This softens them and makes them more pliable. Coat the bottom of 2, 13 by 9-inch, pans with a ladle of enchilada sauce." Hiccup explained and then turned to Astrid who had mellowed after tearing up the chicken to see her swipe a taste of the sauce.

"Using a large shallow bowl, dip each tortilla in enchilada sauce to lightly coat. Spoon 1/4 cup chicken mixture in each tortilla. Fold over filling, place 8 enchiladas in each pan with seam side down. Top with remaining enchilada sauce and cheese."

"All that's left is to bake for 15 minutes in a preheated 350 degree F oven until cheese melts. Garnish with cilantro, scallion, sour cream and chopped tomatoes before serving. Serve with Spanish rice and beans." Astrid now said as she produced some of the pre-made food.

"Those do look mighty tasty." Snotlout mumbled and the audience was agreeing with him.

"Well that's all for today" Hiccup said as he and Astrid waved at the audience. "We hope to see yo-"

Astrid was interrupted as a baby Deathsong fluttered past them on stage followed by Ruffnut and Tuffnut who were partially covered in amber and chasing the baby with nets.

"As I was saying" Astrid said rolling her eyes at the twins. "We hope to see you all next episode."

 **Producer's note:**

 **(Walks past and hears Tuffnut crying) "What happened?"**

 **Tuffnut: "Chicken is missing!" (Tuffnut wailed)**

 **Me: (Rolls eyes) "Chicken is just on a date with the rooster from down the lane."**

 **Tuffnut: "WHAT!"**


	4. Episode 4

**Episode 4:** **Sartu di Riso**

"Greetings everybody and welcome back to a new episode of our show cooking with Astrid and Hiccup. I'm Hiccup and this is my lovely co-host and girlfriend Astrid." Hiccup introduces. Astrid however doesn't look very happy today.

"Hello all." Astrid merely said with a wave.

"Astrid what's wrong?" Hiccup now asked. Astrid's brow twitched before sending a glare to the audience where Toothless was sitting.

"Your dragon drank all my espresso this morning." She grumbled. "I still haven't had my coffee."

"But Toothless doesn't look caffeine-high." Hiccup said as he curiously looked at the Night Fury. It was then that Toothless chose to faceplant forward and fall off the bleachers. "Nevermind." Hiccup said as he rolled his eyes. "At least he didn't hijack the washing machine this time."

"Oh don't remind me of that." Astrid grumbled.

"Hey, we had fun….. eventually." Hiccup mumbled as he remembered them chasing after a hyper Toothless for more than half the day only to end up tangled in a fisherman's net with an eel down Hiccup's shirt.

"So today we'll be making Sartu di Riso." Hiccup mentioned changing the subject. He watched Toothless happily dozing for now. The coffee would take effect in an hour or two.

"Now for the ingredients we'll need 1 pound Arborio rice (2 1/3 cups), 4 cups low-sodium chicken broth, 1 3/4 teaspoons kosher salt, 1 dried bay leaf, 3 cups freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano, 4 large eggs, at room temperature, 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil, 8 ounces sweet Italian sausage or sweet Italian turkey sausage, 1 clove garlic, chopped, 1 shallot, sliced, 2 sprigs basil, One 2-inch piece Parmigiano-Reggiano rind, One 28-ounce can crushed tomatoes, 3 tablespoons whole milk, at room temperature, 7 tablespoons fine breadcrumbs, 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano, 8 ounces ground sirloin or ground dark turkey meat, Olive oil, for frying, 1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature, 1 cup frozen peas, thawed, One 8-ounce ball fresh mozzarella, diced.

"Oh Thor Hiccup, this is an Italian recipe isn't it?" Astrid asked as she leaned on the counter after presenting all the ingredients. Hiccup nodded and Astrid beamed. "You know how much I like Italian dishes." She said with a wink which made Hiccup blush.

"N…N…Now" Hiccup sputtered and the audience giggled seeing him so flustered. "In a large saucepan combine the rice, chicken broth, 1 1/4 teaspoons of the salt and the bay leaf. Stir and bring to a boil over high heat. Cover the pan with a tight-fitting lid, reduce the heat to low and simmer, stirring once, until the rice is still slightly undercooked but the liquid is absorbed, 8 minutes."

"Next pour the rice into a large bowl and cool to room temperature, stirring occasionally. Stir in 2 1/2 cups of the cheese and 3 of the eggs until well combined, and set aside." Hiccup explained as he and Astrid demonstrated.

"Meanwhile, heat the extra-virgin olive oil in a medium nonreactive saucepan over medium-high heat. Remove the sausage from the casing and break into small, bite-size pieces." Hiccup said and frowned when Astrid took a ruler and measured the sausage.

"Astrid what are you doing?" Hiccup asked perplexed as she held her knife ready but frowned at the sausage.

"I'm trying to figure out how long is acceptable. Bite-size pieces is such a vague concept." Astrid said while taking out a notepad and scribbling some calculations on it. The audience groaned at this and facepalmed.

"Astrid probably a third of the finger length would be good enough." Hiccup explained. The audience thought that if this was a cartoon then a giant sweatdrop would have been hanging over Hiccup's head right now.

"Add the sausage to the hot oil and cook until browned, breaking it up with the back of a wooden spoon as it cooks. Using a slotted spoon, remove the sausage to a medium bowl and set aside. Reduce the heat to medium and add the garlic, shallots and 1/4 teaspoon of the salt. Cook, stirring constantly until fragrant and the shallots are soft, 1 minute. Add the basil, cheese rind and tomatoes, and bring to a simmer. Reduce the heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon for 15 to 20 minutes." Hiccup told the audience as Astrid had chopped the sausages to a precise millimeter.

"Then remove the basil and cheese rind. Add 2 cups of the sauce to the reserved sausage and set aside." Astrid happily chirped as she took a bit of cheese to taste.

"Meanwhile, in a separate medium bowl, mix together 2 tablespoons of the breadcrumbs, the milk and the remaining egg with a fork and let the mixture sit for 5 minutes to thicken. Stir in the oregano, the remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt and the remaining 1/2 cup cheese. Using your hands, mix in the beef, until just combined. Heat 1/2-inch of olive oil in a medium straight-sided pan. Scoop 1-tablespoon mounds of the mixture into damp hands and roll into uniform balls." Hiccup now explained and then quickly added "No Astrid, the balls do not have to be precise."

"Oh ruin all my fun." Astrid stated while poking Hiccup in the side.

"When the oil is hot, fry the balls in 2 batches, turning them as needed with a slotted spoon to brown the balls evenly, about 4 minutes. When golden brown and crispy all around, remove the balls using a slotted spoon to the bowl with the sausage and sauce. Continue with the remaining balls, and then toss to coat evenly in the sauce."

Hiccup saw Toothless begin to stir and then quickly continued. "Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Using 1 tablespoon of the butter, grease the inside of a Bundt pan or a 3 1/2-quart Dutch oven, making sure to coat it very well. Dust the inside of the pan with 3 tablespoons of the breadcrumbs. Make sure it is evenly coated and there are no bald spots. This is very important to prevent sticking." Astrid did this as she hummed.

"How long till I get a taste babe?" Astrid then asked.

"Just a little while longer Astrid." Hiccup answered before saying. "Add the peas and diced mozzarella to the meat and sauce, and toss gently to incorporate. Spoon two-thirds of the rice mixture into the prepared bundt pan. Using damp hands, press the rice evenly over the bottom of the pan and 2 1/2-inches up the sides and middle of the pan. Spoon the meat filling into the well of rice and press gently to make sure it is evenly packed. Spoon the remaining rice over the filling and, using damp hands, press the rice evenly over the filling, being sure to press the rice on top into the rice along the edges to seal. Sprinkle evenly with the remaining 2 tablespoons breadcrumbs and dot with the remaining 1/2 tablespoon butter. Bake until lightly browned on top, 45 minutes. Then cool for 15 minutes."

Hiccup brought a premade plate to the counter and Astrid gleefully clapped while rocking on the balls of her feet.

"Place a plate large enough to cover the top of the pan over the pan. Using heat-resistant pads or a towel, invert the sartu onto the plate. Carefully lift the pan off of the rice, shaking gently if needed. Warm the remaining sauce and fill the opening in the middle of the molded rice with the sauce to serve." Hiccup said as he saw Astrid start to drool from the smell. It was also the moment that Toothless decided to wake up.

His pupils slitted as he eyed Hiccup before dashing straight towards him.

"Oh no" Hiccup muttered as Toothless jumped on him and began to shower him with licks. That thankfully didn't last long as a hyper Toothless sniffed the air. The dragon turned to the dish which sat on the counter.

"TOOTHLESS NO!" Hiccup screamed but it was too late. Toothless proceeded to gobble up the dish that Astrid was drooling over.

Astrid stared wide eyed at the now empty plate before screaming "MY FOOD!" She grabbed her axe which she kept under the counter during filming and advanced on Toothless. "GET BACK HERE YOU USELESS REPTILE!" she shouted before sprinting after Toothless who ran backstage.

Hiccup shakily stood back up behind the counter. "That's all for today ladies and gentleman." He winced when crashes could be heard from backstage. "Join us tomorrow for our last episode."

 **Producer's note:**

 **(Walks in on Tuffnut and Chicken)**

 **Tuffnut: "How could you Chicken?! How could you?"**

 **Chicken: "toktok"**

 **Tuffnut: "I gave you everything and you run off with some rooster!"**

 **Chicken: "TokTOk"**

 **Tuffnut: "Don't try to explain, you've already broken my heart. He wasn't the one to take you to Mardi Gras"**

 **Chicken: "TOOOOK" (Chicken clucked before walking away)**

 **Me: (awkward)**


	5. Episode 5

**Episode 5: Escargots a la Bourguignonne**

"Greetings everybody and welcome back to the last episode of our show cooking with Astrid and Hiccup. I'm Hiccup and this is my lovely co-host and girlfriend Astrid." Hiccup introduces as Astrid gave the audience a happy wave.

"Hello everybody!" Astrid chirped. "Today I was planning to open the show with another knife throwing demonstration but apparently that is now a scraped.

Hiccup and the crew let out relieved sighs upon hearing that. "So today I have a special treat." Astrid stated and then gave the audience a wink?"

"You do?" Hiccup now asked.

"Of course Hiccup and it involves you."

"It does?" Hiccup now asked a bit nervously. "Does it also involve sharp pointy objects?"

"Not so far as I know." Astrid stated as the audience was watching in anticipation. "It will be going against tradition but who cares." Astrid then shrugged. "Hit the lights Ruff!" Astrid shouted and the stage lights went out. The audience watched in anticipation as they could hear some shoveling and then two spotlights shone onto Hiccup and Astrid.

Hiccup looked completely taken off guard as Astrid smiled before taking out a little box. "Hiccup you've been there most of my life, and you've stood by me through thick and thin. I couldn't imagine my life without you and I would hope that you would like to be my husband in the future. So will you marry me?" She asked opening the box and revealing a white golden ring.

Hiccup blinked not believing it before he shouted "YES! YES! YES!" while he embraced Astrid in a bone crushing hug as the audience cheered. The lights came back on and Hiccup was shocked to see both of his parents, Gobber and Astrid's parents on stage. Even Toothless and Stormfly had joined them and wore large red bows.

"Wait how did you get Toothless into a bow?" Hiccup now questioned as Astrid gave his cheek a kiss.

"It wasn't easy." Astrid stated while Toothless huffed.

"She bribed him didn't she?" Hiccup now asked and his friends and family all nodded. Astrid rolled her eyes and then lightly swatted Hiccup. Those on the stage joined the audience after congratulating Astrid and Hiccup. In Astrid's mother's case she couldn't stop crying that the grandbabies were finally underway much to Hiccup's mortification.

"So what are we making today?" Astrid asked as they took their place behind the counter.

"Escargots a la Bourguignonne" Hiccup said and Astrid's eyes widened comically.

"Hiccup"

"Yes Astrid?"

"You do know what Escargots are right?" She now asked as she shuddered.

"It's French for snails." Hiccup said and then noticed Astrid. "Wait are you afraid of snails?"

"No I'm not!" Astrid quickly defended. "I just think that their slimy."

"Well we'll not be using any gigantic ones." Hiccup said as he tried to assure his now fiancé, but apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Snotlout, Fishlegs and everybody in the audience facepalmed.

"There are gigantic ones!" Astrid shrieked.

"Don't worry Astrid. I'll handle the snails." Hiccup said as he saw Astrid looking around wildly. That seemed to calm Astrid down.

"Now for the ingredients we'll need 1 shallot, finely chopped, 1/4 cup chopped parsley, 4 cloves garlic, minced, 1/2 cup red wine, 1 1/2 cups (12 ounces or 3 sticks) softened butter, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, 48 cleaned snail shells, 1 (28-ounce) can escargots, drained, rinsed, and patted dry or, 48 fresh snails." Hiccup said as a stagehand handed him the fresh snails. Astrid had placed the other ingredients on on the table but she was glaring at the snails.

"Astrid why are you so afraid of snails?" Hiccup now asked. Astrid's eye twitched.

"Let's just say I used to be a snail magnet when I was in elementary." Astrid shuddered.

"Well at least you didn't get served escargot at McDonald's" Astrid's mom suddenly piped up.

"Why exactly is that hun?" her father asked.

"Because they aren't fast food." Her mother then sniggered while the audience laughed loudly.

"Oh Thor." Astrid muttered as she tried to hide behind the counter in embarrassment.

"Oh I got one" Stoick now said.

"Oh Thor indeed." Hiccup mumbled as his cheeks turned red.

"What was the snail doing on the highway?" Stoick asked. Now the entire audience asked "What?"

"About a mile a day!" Stoick said causing everyone to have laughing fits, even the dragons.

"Hiccup I'm whipping out my axe if I hear another snail joke." Astrid warned.

"OOOKAY! Let's resume." Hiccup quickly said. His parents didn't have the Astrid clause in their health coverage. He did have a feeling that family dinners would be quite interesting.

"Now the procedure for cleaning and preparing the shells is as followed. You'll need 48 fresh snails in their shells, White vinegar, Salt, Dry white wine, 1 onion, coarsely chopped, 2 carrots, coarsely chopped, 1 stalk celery, coarsely chopped, 1 bouquet garni, 10 cloves garlic, mashed, Salt, Freshly ground black pepper." Hiccup summed up as Astrid prepared the ingredients.

"Allow snails to fast for at least one day." Hiccup explained as he produced a premade batch. "Rinse snails under cold running water and then transfer to a large bowl and cover with white vinegar and a handful of salt. Cover snails with a heavy plate to keep them submerged and allow them to purge for at least 3 hours. Rinse again under cold running water and clean thoroughly to remove all traces of mucous." Astrid simply closed her eyes here as Hiccup demonstrated.

"Place snails in a small saucepan and cover with water. Boil for 10 minutes. Drain and remove snails from their shells. Transfer shells to another saucepan and cover with salted water and boil for at least 30 minutes. Remove shells from the water, clean thoroughly and let them dry completely before proceeding. Clean shelled snails again and remove the black part at the end of the tail. Place snails in a saucepan and cover with a mixture of half water and half dry white wine. Add onion, carrots, celery, bouquet garni, 10 cloves garlic, salt, and pepper. Partially cover saucepan and bring to a boil. Simmer for 2 hours, or until tender, and allow snails to cool in cooking liquid. Drain snails, discard poaching liquid, and pat snails dry." Hiccup finished demonstrating.

"You can look now Astrid." Hiccup said.

"No more slime?" She asked as she peeked through her fingers.

"No more slime." Hiccup said showing her the shells.

"Now preheat oven to 325 degrees F. In a bowl combine shallot, parsley, garlic, red wine, butter, salt, and pepper and mix well to thoroughly combine. Place a small amount of the butter inside each prepared snail shell. Add one snail to each shell, then fill each shell with more of the garlic-butter mixture. Place each prepared shell in the well of a snail dish and bake until butter is melted and bubbly and just beginning to brown." Hiccup explained as Astrid did the last part.

"That's all?" Astrid asked as Hiccup showed the audience the finished product.

"That's all." Hiccup said. "Care for a taste?" but Astrid shook her head as she watched Hiccup try one. She then got a mischievous idea.

"You ain't kissing me with that mouth." She said with her hands on her hips as Hiccup nearly dropped the now empty snail shell.

"A…Astrid!" Hiccup whined which caused Astrid to laugh. She gave Hiccup a peck on the cheek before turning to their audience. "That's all folks." Astrid said and waved.

"I hope you have enjoyed our last episode." Hiccup said as he too waved. "This is Hiccup and Astrid bidding you a final farewell from our show! You've all been a marvelous audience!"

 **Producer's note:**

 **(Walks along the halls as the set is being packed)… (Comes across Tuffnut and Chicken)**

 **Me: "Everything alright?"**

 **Tuffnut: "Everything is great!"**

 **Chicken: "TokTok…Tok"**

 **Tuffnut: "We've made up! and we're heading to Disneyland!"**

 **Chicken: "Tok!"**

 **Me: "Okay"… (Thinking)…'Those two never change'….**


End file.
